You Asked Us: My Boyfriend Won’t Touch Me

The Question: My boyfriend will not have sex with me, will not kiss me or hug me or cuddle. He tells me that he’s working on it and he’s taking Cialis for the physical part, but even that isn’t helping. How long do I wait? It’s been over three years…

Our gut response to your situation is how sad this must be for you, and lonely, to be in a relationship with a guy who is unable to express himself physically. And the best advice we can give you is through asking you some more questions: Has he always been this way? No kissing, etc. since the begining of the relationship? And, how are you doing? How does his behavior make you feel? Does me make up for his lack of affection in other ways? (Like making you dinner, leaving you sweet love notes—stuff like that to make you feel special?)

You want to know how long you should keep waiting it out and, sadly, we can’t give you a magic number. However, we think that if you’re not being shown affection and love, you’re not in a relationship that’s going to be fulfilling in the long run. It seems like your guy might have issues that need professional solutions and you don’t need to play the role of the dedicated girlfriend while he sorts them out. If it were us, we would have been gone a long time ago.

2 thoughts on “You Asked Us: My Boyfriend Won’t Touch Me

  1. Pingback: He won’t touch her. | The Little Black Blog Of Big Red Flags

  2. He initiated sex the 1st 2 times, then it was downhill from there, the first time he couldnt get an erection was the last time he tried. I’ve realized that my mental image of our relationship is based upon those great first few months.. I made the mistake of letting him move in and everything stopped dead then. He’s kind to me, he does not mistreat me, but I have outright told him he could do other things to compensate ..and he won’t. I’ve been very deppressed, and feel guilty for not wanting to wait it out until he gets better..but what’s the big prize? I’m already 45.

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